In our first ePortfolio prompt, my HUM151 class was given the following prompt: In your writing, explain how you found the media you are writing about. Discuss the context of this media: Who produced it? How was it published? Who is the audience? What response has it received? Offer commentary on what this media contributes to a body of knowledge about your topic, and summarize what a reader might learn from it.
“Private violence affects nearly every aspect of modern life in some way, yet the country’s collective failure to treat it as a public health issue demonstrates a stunning lack of understanding about this very pervasiveness,”
(“The Particular Cruelty of Domestic Violence” The Atlantic).
When doing a quick Google search, it’s easy to find several different types of information regarding Domestic Violence. When thinking of Domestic Violence as a society, we often ask victims “Why did you stay for as long as you did?” and pass judgement on what the victim could’ve done differently to avoid being in an abusive relationship. Based on current statistics, 1 in 3 women will find themselves in a relationship with intimate partner violence, or a victim of stalking as well; in the US, women between the ages of 16-24 are twice as likely to be victims of domestic violence than women of any other age.
In October 2017, a report by the CDC was released that had quite disturbing findings: after analyzing the deaths of women in 18 states during an eleven year period (2003-2014), and a reported finding of 10, 018 deaths, “Of those, 55 percent were intimate partner violence-related, meaning they occurred at the hands of a former or current partner or the partner’s family or friends. In 93 percent of those cases, the culprit was a current or former romantic partner. The report also bucks the strangers-in-dark-alleys narrative common to televised crime dramas: Strangers perpetrated just 16 percent of all female homicides, fewer than acquaintances and just slightly more than parents,” (“Nearly Half of All Murdered Women Are Killed by Romantic Partners,” The Atlantic).
“Why did I stay? The answer is easy. I didn’t know he was abusing me. Even though he held those loaded guns to my head, pushed me down stairs, threatened to kill our dog, pulled the key out of the car ignition as I drove down the highway, poured coffee grinds on my head as I dressed for a job interview, I never once thought of myself as a battered wife. Instead, I was a very strong woman in love with a deeply troubled man, and I was the only person on Earth who could help Conor face his demons,” Leslie Morgan Steiner. In her TED Talk, Steiner tells of the judgement victims of Domestic Violence face after leaving the abusive relationship and often asked: “Why did you stay?”
If only it was just that simple. When someone is robbed, they are not asked “Well, why did you put yourself in the position to robbed? What did you do to provoke the assailant to put a gun to your head and take all your money?”
So, why is the victim of such an intimate crime, where one is emotionally, physically, mentally/psychologically, and or sexually abused by the person who claims to “love them most in this word,” is submitted to such incredible questioning and speculation after being able to safely leaving a situation where their life was on the line?
Why don’t women leave? Because when women leave, that is when it can be most dangerous for them. “Why didn’t I walk out? I could have left any time. To me, this is the saddest and most painful question that people ask, because we victims know something you usually don’t: It’s incredibly dangerous to leave an abuser. Because the final step in the domestic violence pattern is kill her. Over 70 percent of domestic violence murders happen after the victim has ended the relationship, after she’s gotten out, because then the abuser has nothing left to lose. Other outcomes include long-term stalking, even after the abuser remarries; denial of financial resources; and manipulation of the family court system to terrify the victim and her children, who are regularly forced by family court judges to spend unsupervised time with the man who beat their mother. And still we ask, why doesn’t she just leave?” (Leslie Morgan Steiner).
In learning and continuing my research and knowledge on this topic, this is a crime that affects any person, regardless of race, gender, class, status, or religion– and in my opinion, the one of the most heinous crimes. It is a crime that is so incredibly misunderstood and stigmatized, and that is one of the many reasons it can be so difficult for victims to leave their abusive relationships. Even with most of the legislation in regards to family and partner violence have only been introduced in the last 20-30 years, there must be more done to put an end to this crime.
Works Cited:
https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2019/05/no-visible-bruises-domestic-violence/588631/ https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2017/07/homicides-women/534306/
Rebecca's HUM-150 e-Portfolio 